11.3.09 :)

To begin with, we'll start off with a quick introduction on who I am.  My name is Annaliese, most people just call me Anya and you're more than welcome to as well.  I'm a music education major at UNCG with a concentration in bassoon. My God is amazing and I would be nothing without His graces! I was raised in a very close knit family, they taught me to be independent and cherish the life I've been blessed with. I love artsy things and old things (art, music, literature, architecture, old films, etc.)  I'm a self proclaimed culture vulture, I drink hot tea way too much, I could survive out of my messenger bag, I'm a huge Carolina Tar Heel fan, and most of all, I'm hopelessly stuck in the 1980's.  That's me in a nut shell :)


"Remembering, everything,
about my world and when you came.
Wondering, the change you’d bring,
means nothing else would be the same." -Mae

The Story of Three Euros and a Thai: 
Through the Eyes of Anya

There comes a time in every persons life when they realize that in some way or another, they have to let go of their past and all the things and people who hold them down. I came to the brutal realization after a series of events left me without someone to lean on and a loss of faith and spirit. I had suffered through a quarter-life crisis after being diagnosed with Polycystical Ovarian Syndrome, my senior year of high school, a disease that plays the role of the highest cause of infertility in women. Polycystical Ovarian Syndrome, commonly known as PCOS, is a disease that affects the workings of the female organs. It targets the chemicals in the body often producing too much insulin and androgens causing significant changes in the body including; appearance, heart and blood vessels, the menstrual cycle, and ability to have children. 

Although at first I struggled with the realization of PCOS by myself, I finally decided that it was time to turn to *Frank, my best friend of fifteen years. However, after gathering the guts to tell him, his brutal and unbelieving reply to my confession about my condition was not what I had expected coming from someone I had known for most of my life. Because of his belief that PCOS did not have any affect on my health in the way I said it did, I decided not to tell anyone about my diagnosis not wanting people to think I was craving attention. It was something I came to regret but it also led me to self discovery and an internship at Skirt! Magazine, an east-coast based magazine that promotes good body image and issues in women’s health and independence. Even though I thought I had found myself, bottled up were many mixed feelings about the medical issues I was having. 

The following fall I was off to college and along with me was Frank. Although neither of us ever thought of leaving each other sides, I soon discovered that this was not going to be the case. Within a few weeks of class, I began to notice the distance start to form between my best friend and I. I discovered that he had turned to the heavy party scene and shortly became involved with a rough crowd leaving me worrying over him. I felt as though this person I had known and loved my whole life was a complete stranger. But with this feeling of loss came an incredible gift, something that I’m sure he doesn’t even know he gave me...

We all have them, those moments that will never leave your mind. They are the memories that will forever be engraved in our hearts. It’s a part of human nature to hold onto the things that make you happy, things that changed your life in some sort of way. For me that memory is the discovery that God had a plan for four strangers, who within time became friends, and ended up becoming family. I remember almost every detail of the nights that I met each of them. I remember the first time I saw them, the first thing we had said to each other, and the instant trust I felt towards all of them. As for Frank, it was one of the last nights I would spend with him but it was only the start to the amazing journey he accidentally sent me on. 

So the story goes that the four of us were all going through a hard time in our lives and we just happened to all wind up in each other’s lives just at the right moment. In my case Frank had bought us tickets to see Mae, one of our favorite rock bands in concert. We of course started off this exciting night with a disagreement and overreaction over something silly. Finally the awkwardness wore off when a friend of his from the School of Music approached us and started talking to him. With this guy was a girl, Kristen, from my Music Education class and a guy, Derek, from my English class. I knew Kristen from seeing her around the music building and Derek from sitting next to him in English, although we never spoke a word to each other (even though we both wanted to) before that night. The loud music meant little talk although I instantly felt something special between Kristen, Derek, and I, almost as if God was telling me something by placing them in front of me.
The next day in English, Derek and I immediately went into conversation about the concert. Over the course of the class we discovered that we had almost everything in common including a love for anything 1980’s, architecture and art, and of course, Mae. I found myself at lunch with him and Kristen after class and we all seemed to connect as if we knew each other forever. I wanted to tackle Frank and thank him for helping me find such wonderful new friends but I never really got the chance.

That night after walking back from Tate Street Coffee, another music major informed me that Frank had asked her to smoke with him. It came almost as a shock, one because he was a music major and wind player, and two... that was my Frank. I went up to my room and asked my roommate what to do and she said to do the only thing that made any logical sense at the time, pray about it. I had spent the first part of the year struggling with my faith and now I was told to pray for my best friend when nothing seemed to make sense anymore. But I did, I locked myself in the closet and told God that I needed His guidance and to watch over Frank, but most of all to give me a sign that He was still there and He had better things ahead for me.
I really had no idea if God even heard me that night, but by the next morning, things started to change. The first of my questions was answered when a facebook conversation with Derek turned into a complete confessional of my personal life that lasted for about six hours. We had covered every topic possible, from music and culture, to the Bible, to the house that the two of us had decided we were going to buy together in Italy... we talked about everything, everything but my diagnosis with PCOS. Although I had held back my secret that night, I still went to bed a happy girl and went to breakfast the next morning with an invitation from Kristen to go to small group, a church youth group bonding time, with her and Derek. I of course, agreed to go. 

Derek led the conversation that night at small group and I can remember almost everything that was said within that two hour time period. We discussed the sacrifices that Christians do for the ones they love, and how some people would give anything for things they can’t have. In relation to the topic, abortion came up and they discussed how they believed that most women who can’t have children would give anything for the baby that another woman would have had aborted. I say that “they” discussed it due to the fact that I was freaking out inside because neither Derek or the others had any idea about my diagnosis with PCOS or the problems it causes, and in shock, I left that night without hardly saying a word. 

When we got back on campus Kristen asked me if I was okay since I hardly spoke at small group. Finally reaching the breaking point I publicly freaked out outside my dorm and explained that I since I had PCOS, there was a slim chance that I could have children. I could tell immediately that she wasn’t going to judge me but she felt the same way I did, that God put me in that particular small group meeting for a reason. 


About the same time as our discussion, a boy on a broken bike walked up to the side of my dorm. He looked at both of us not knowing what to say to two hysterical girls and finally concluded just to smile and introduce himself. This was Nate, a fellow German and music education major. He immediately asked if we were okay and after explaining that we just had an interesting experience and I was a little shaken up, he wanted to know more and join the deep conversation we were having. We sat in the parlor the rest of the night and I told them both all the things that I hid away from other people. I remember looking at Nate and telling him that although I didn't know who he was, but I was going to pour my heart out to him. Although I hardly knew Nate at the time, the moment I saw him, like Derek and Kristen, I knew I could trust him.
I realized quickly that my prayers had been answered and after many nights struggling with my faith, God was with me the whole time only wanting me to trust Him. After introducing Nate to Derek, the four of us quickly became attached at the hip. I later told Derek about my diagnosis and much like Kristen and Nate, he too confirmed that as long as I had trust in God and the love of the three of them, I wouldn’t be alone again. I know they were sent as a sign that life was going to move on and things were going to be okay. That night my faith was reassured and today as I look at Nate, Kristen, and Derek, I see nothing but God’s love. 

We call that night the faithful night and it’s a night that will never be forgotten for a very, very long time. Since then the four of us have been inseparable and spend most of our time getting into crazy situations and adventures. We’ve spent nights watching meteor showers together, and even nights in the hospital with friends. We’ve spent evenings taking random adventures to the Ganache bakery and Coffeeology, mornings walking and exploring old neighborhoods and downtown Greensboro, weekends sharing music, movies, and stories, Sunday’s sharing faith, and our favorite time spent cooking Italian food on Saturday nights. Throughout this whole experience, we all know that God’s love is what brought us all together and that although we all may have lost something along the way to get to where we are now, it was worth it in the end. Because out of all the things we share the most amazing thing is our love for each other and the overwhelming Grace that brought us together and turned us into family. Brian Andreas once said that it took a long time to stop confusing safety with love. For us the confusion has ceased, this is forever love in its greatest form.

*please note that some names were changed in order to protect identity.